Point System

For all those husbands out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: one single rule applies -- make your wife happy. Do something she likes and you get positive points. Do something she dislikes, you get negative points. You don't get any points for doing something she expects... Sorry, that's the way it is.

Here is your guide.

Simple Duties:

You make the bed: +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows: 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets: -3

You go out to buy her Kleenex: +5
...But return with beer: -5

You leave the toilet seat up: -5
You leave the toilet lid down: -10
...After the lights are out: -30

You check out a suspicious noise at night: 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing: 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something: +5
You pummel it with a bat: +10
...It's her brother: -10

Social Engagements:

You stay by her side throughout the entire party: 0

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a guy: -1

….He is her brother: +1

….He is your archery playing pal: -5

….He is your college drinking buddy: -10

Her Birthday:

You take her out to dinner: 0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar: +1
...Okay, it is a sports bar: -2
And it's all-you-can-eat night: -4
It's all of the above and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team: -10

A Night Out With The Boys:

Go out with a pal: -5
The pal is happily married: -2
...Or frighteningly single: -7
...And he drives a BMW: -15

A Night Out With Her:

You take her to a movie: +2
You take her to a movie she likes: +4
You take her to a movie you hate: +10
You take her to a movie you like: -6

The Big Question:

She asks, "Do I look fat?": -5
You hesitate in responding: -10
You reply, "Where?": -35

Communication:

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression: 0
When she wants to talk, you listen for over 30 minutes: +5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV: +10
...She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep: -20

Your Physique:

You develop a noticeable potbelly: -15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it: +10
You develop a potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts: -30
You say, "I don't give a damn because you have one too": -800

15 Reflections of Rio Opening Ceremony

1.   International Olympic Committee: "70% of original Russian team is competing in Rio Olympics."

2.   Tweet on Team Tonga: "Moving to Tonga. Their national dress is a six pack covered in baby oil."

3.   Second Tweet: "Thanks to Tonga's flag bearer, sales of Johnson's Baby Oil has gone thru the roof!"

4.   Portugal have turned up in jeans! Did they not read the dress code on the invite? It’s bermuda shorts, khakis or nothing.

5.   Indians are unhappy because the female athletes had to wear blazers over sarees.

6.   One person who didn’t get a cheer at Opening Ceremony is Usain Bolt, he skipped the ceremony. He was busy counting how many more he will add in Rio to his collection of Olympic medals.

7.   The richest athletes in the arena: US basketball players.

8.   China’s flagbearer is huge. He isn’t a basketball player, he is in fact a fencer.

9.   The University of Georgia fans accuse Uganda of stealing the hashtag UGA. The University of Georgia goes by UGA for short. #UGA on Twitter gives the flag of Uganda, not the University of Georgia.

10.   The only country with all female athletes: Bhutan, two athletes.

11.   Country with least no. of athletes: Tuvalu (Pop: 9,876), one athlete.

12.   Youngest athlete: Gaurika Singh (13 years ), swimmer, Nepal.

13.   Oldest athlete: Mary Hanna, 61, equestrian, Australia.

14.   Arden Cho (Actress): "WOW Ning Zetao...how can people say Asian guys aren’t hot?"

15.   The theme of Beijing 2008 was China is great, London 2012’s was Britain WAS great. Rio Olympic theme? We better start doing something about the environment or we may not have many Olympics to celebrate in the future.

Top 10 Gelephu Flash Flood Tit Bits

1. Taxi Driver: Down from 1,800  to 18 a day. Wish I had a Bolero.

2. Truck Driver: That box-cutting? Only the “father’s son” with big “muttu” (heart) can handle it.

3.  Local Rumour: Mao-khola has “eaten” Gelephu water “tanki”.

4. Parking Attendant: Rice cooked with milky water tastes good, like in picnic.

5. Witty Question: Uncle, do we need to boil water for shower?

6. Gelephu Thromde: Did you see our water treatment plant and clear water reservoir?

7.  DOR: The floods missed our brand new Setikharey bridge, how come?

8. BOD: Is Deosiri bridge still ok?

9. Water Deity: Your rivers, streams, drains, water table...all are full. What else do   you want water for?

10. Urgently Required: Cloud seeding technology that will cloud-disprese  evenly from eastern to western frontier!

       Keep Your Spirit High, and Take Good Care of Your Health!

When Breath Becomes Air

As I cross 66 today, I recommend you to read this book: When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kananithi. It is one of the powerful books, I read, written by a brave neurosurgeon suffering from lung cancer, who tries to find meaning between life and death.

I quote few sentences from the book:

“If the unexamined life was not worth living, was the unlived life worth examining?”

“ There is a moment, a cusp, when the sum of gathered experience is worn down by the details of living. We are never so wise as when we live in this moment.”

“You can’t ever reach perfection, but you can believe in an asymptote towards which you are ceaselessly striving.”

“When there is no place for scalpel, words are the surgeon’s only tool.” (Scalpel is a surgeon’s knife. A strong message to medical fraternity)

And, very touching lines from Epilogue written by Lucy Kananithi, wife of Paul Kananithi:

"I returned to Paul’s bedside. He looked at me, his dark eyes alert above the nose bridge of BiPAP mask, and said clearly, his voice soft and unwavering, “I’m ready.” (when breath becomes air)

Ready, he meant, to remove the breathing support, to start morphine, to die.

The family gathered together. During the precious minutes after Paul’s decision, we all expressed our love and respect. Tears glistened in Paul’s eyes. He expressed gratitude to his parents. He asked us to ensure that his manuscript be published in some form. He told me a last time that he loved me. The attending physician stepped in with strengthening words: “Paul, after you die, your family will fall apart, but they will pull it back together because of example of bravery you set.”"

You know you are a Bhutanese if...

(i) your greeting starts with “doma hyoga/gonena (you have/want betel nut)?”

(ii) your toothbrush is “Hard” for the reason.

(iii) Prado is your dream car.

(iv) you thank deity that there is something called Facebook.

(v) your bragging starts with your kids' school performance even if they’re just mediocre.

(vi) your dad's friends are your uncles.

(vii) your favourite occupation: contractor

(viii) your favourite app: WeChat.

(ix) pilgrimage to Budhgaya with shopping in Jaigaon every winter leaves you 'bhonku' (broke).

(x) ‘ema-datshi’ (chilly-cheese) tastes better than sushi-sashimi.

(xi) you always say "on the light" instead of "turn the light on".

(xii) you miss 'ezzay' (chilly paste) every time you go for a Big Mac at McDondold's.

Top 10 signs of 2016 Gelephu Summer

10. Live on 2X2 plan: drink 2L water, take 2 showers.

9. Want to cross Setikharey river on foot? Walk on bridge railing or risk hit-and-run!

8. Gelephu self sufficient in organic vegetable: 1 cabbage/100 households.

7. You didn’t get your water bill? Look somewhere around your compound!

6. What, slow mobile data? Problem with all your mobiles!

5. No TV? It’s the signal problem you stupid, not poor service!

4. Do not disturb customs staff at Indo-Bhutan gate during tea breaks: 2 hours FN and 2 AN.

3. No rain drops here, its only rain chunks!

2. Only item that is delivered at home, school or even on hospital bed: ask the students what it is!

1. New Gelephu landmark: Clock(less) Tower!